Is It Right For A Man To Move Into A Woman’s Apartment After Marriage?

I am here setting up a bookcase and my mind went on its
usual exploration of thoughts.

It went on – my mind – to the question of why do some male
move in with a female – in her own place after they have decided to become a
union?

I am guessing the thought went through my mind because I
know of and, also know a few guys who are doing it or have done it.

I cannot bring myself
to do it. I will not be comfortable being a “man” (definition can
vary) in such a setting. How can I regard myself as a king in her palace”?
Is my core issue with the view or such a move.

What do you think?

Thanks,

Tajudeen Raji

The Response

Brother Tajudeen

It’s a new world out there!

The idea of a man needing to prove that he wears the pants
in the house by ensuring that his fiancée moved in with him rather than the
opposite and that he has to pick up the tab on a date are now old fashioned.

Modern girls are now raised to be just as independent as the
boys .

I wouldn’t want any of my girls being ‘kept’ and maintained
any more than the boys should feel that they have the burden to pay all the
bills in their future households.

In Canada both men and women now get one year maternity/paternity
leaves which they can both share as it best suits them or have either one of
the union use it exclusively.

Partners in same s*x marriages who adopt or have a
biological child through one member if the couple are also eligible for this
option

When I was at UI in the early 70’s my girlfriend then and I
picked up the tab and other expenses almost equally.

Which ever one of the two of the two of us brought up the
idea of going to some expensive restaurant-not Bukas or spend the night at
Yesmina an expensive night club in Ibadan in knew he/she would be picking up
the tab.

I had 3 academic scholarships and her parents were
influential and had some money so cash was never a determining factor. We spent
so much time on outings my friends and classmates were always worried

If I was studying hard.enough to pass just as I also worried
if she would ever graduate. Surprisingly we both graduated same time as our
classmates-in my own case without a single reference and with a distinction in
one subject. Looking back – may be I could have done better if I had spent more
time studying than partying. If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t change a
thing!

You need not worry who is wearing the pants in a union as
long as they are both happy.

In 2014. No reasonable parent should be raising a girl with
the expectation that she would be kept and maintained by a man while no boy
should be raised to assume

that it is his sole duty to be the sole earner and provider
for his future family and household.

The only difference between a man and a woman is a matter of
whether or not the s*x chromosomes are XY and XX which in turn determines the
anatomy of the internal and external s*x organs.

Simply put, I do not mind being kept and treated to free
dinners. It always tastes better when someone else is paying!

Bye,

Ola

And another person replied Ola

Ola,

I can imagine that you crammed so much during your college
years. No wonder you didn’t perform as good as you had anticipated. Did you see
how you wondered off point on the topic here under. There is great difference
between picking up the tab and going to live in a woman’s home. I don’t care
how times have changed, it is not manly to do. If at the time they decide to
cohabit and both seek out and move into a residence together, that’s a lot
better. For a man to move into a woman’s home, he is less than a man in my sight.
I don’t care how times have changed. I was born before the time changed.

Oke Osisi