Comedienne Real Warri Pikin has drawn attention to the different ways men and women are often described when they show the same kind of firmness.
She pointed out that a woman who refuses to back down can quickly be described in negative terms, while a man displaying the same behaviour is more likely to be praised.
Taking to her page, she wrote:
“When a woman stands her ground she is mean, aggressive, difficult, bossy. When a man stands his ground he is resilient, strong, leader, has boundaries.”
For her, the difference goes beyond the words used. She believes it reflects the expectations placed on women to remain soft, agreeable and accommodating, even when they are simply standing up for themselves.
“Same action. Different language. Different reception”, she stated.
Real Warri Pikin also pointed to how quickly a woman can be accused of having an attitude when she begins to prioritise herself or make her limits clear.
“This thing dey always happen because we’ve been taught to expect women to be soft, agreeable, and accommodating all the time. The moment we choose ourselves, set boundaries, or say NO Boom! it gets labeled as ATTITUDE”, she noted.
She stressed that being firm should not automatically be associated with being difficult or unfriendly. In her view, qualities such as resilience and the ability to set boundaries are not determined by gender.
“But resilience isn’t gendered. Boundaries aren’t mean. Standing firm just means you respect yourself”, she stated.
She further explained that being clear about what you will and will not accept does not make you mean, even if some people are uncomfortable with it.
“You’re not mean for standing your ground. You’re clear. And clarity makes some people UNCOMFORTABLE”, she added.
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