Our female celebrities should admit that they are horrible
at choosing their men. And as a celebrity, destroying your man publicly makes
you look stupid because you are the one who chose to be with him in the first
place. Most of you ladies want a perfect man because you have a natural need to
want to fix something about him. And when it fails, of course, it becomes his
fault for being who he always was.
Even if the guy you married was the most
disgusting pig in the whole universe, you should admit that lowering your
standards so severely was your choice. Every divorce is built on those things
that were created during courtship. It is during this time that the future of a
marriage is decided. If you don’t have the ability to analyse what was injected
into your brain during those few critical years or months of courtship, then
whatever happens in your marriage is your funeral, not ours.
of their marriages, assigning blames like football fans after a bad match day?
Must they turn their divorces into a bride versus groom contest with their fans
taking sides? Trust the Nigerian press and bloggers who are ever too quick to
join the accusation bandwagon to exonerate their preferred spouse without
proper investigation. I wonder why Naija Bet hasn’t thought of adding a slot on
their platform for forecasting the longevity of celebrity marriages in Nigeria.
It is much easier to predict how long a Nigerian celebrity marriage will last
these days than the scoreline of a Chelsea FC versus Arsenal FC match. When you
get right down to the root of most celebrity divorces, you will discover it all
boils down to one simple conclusion to which most females adhere: their men are
always at fault. The guilt and punishment are simply assigned to whoever
happens to have the p***s.
Haven’t you all redefined coincidence, with all your
husbands accused of domestic violence? Where are the pictorial evidences to
back up your accusations? Have all Nigerian men all of a sudden become
monsters? Most female celebs now seem to be focused on exposing their husbands
or catching them red-handed? Not knowing that the more they take that route,
the more convinced they become that their husbands are really cheating. The
language of most journalists and bloggers (infidelity experts) out there
centres on one theme: “catch, prove and divorce”. Yes your husband erred, but
why let the world know? Does his trial at the public court make you feel good?
Do you feel any more righteous by making him the villain and you the good guy?
knows that your partner didn’t just start having an affair. It is the obvious
truth that most celebrity marriages are built on adultery, and whatever
adultery joins together, adultery shall put asunder. Your emotions wouldn’t be
in turmoil today if you had listened to your gut feelings yesterday. But my
dear, before you decide to take the road of divorce to wherever it may lead,
you must first consider the real cost of going that route. This is because If
you choose to get a divorce without knowing the real reason your husband
cheated on you in the first place, you’d just be circling around the same
problem instead of fixing it and preventing it from happening in the future.
Put your emotions aside for a moment and ask yourself, why on earth would your
husband fall into the arms of another woman when he has a caring, compassionate
and loving woman at home? Ask yourself where you went wrong. Maybe the reason
you had a cheating husband was because he had a set of needs that you were
unable to fulfill because of your gallivanting lifestyle as a celebrity. The
blame often starts within the walls of your mind and results in you holding him
responsible for the collapse of the marriage. At this point, nothing he says
could ever provide an adequate answer, but you just keep asking the same
questions over and over again.
People should also know that in most celebrity
divorces, not all blames come from within. Some of the most painful and
damaging blames come from people outside the marriage, who feel they need to
pass judgments.
To the press and bloggers having a swell time with every
celebrity divorce, I hope you know that it’s very easy to lay blames when
you’re on the sidelines. You are acting like a spectator at a football match
with a bird’s-eye view of all the action, while those playing on the field get
consumed by the waves of emotions that accompany their divorce.
wanting to lay those blames, please relax for a moment and think about the
appropriateness of the blames. Think about the consequences of your
accusations. Try to examine the situation from multiple viewpoints. And to you
husbands who are being blamed, especially after you have cheated or been
mistaken to have cheated, please understand that your women are lashing out
because of their fears and insecurities. And as a man, there is a great level
of maturity in accepting responsibility for your behaviour and taking the blame
for your actions.
Divorce is a winless game that is best not played. In Onyeka
Onwenu’s voice, may there be peace in our homes. Amen.
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