How To Spot A Fake Abuja Big Boy

This was written by Chinenye
Ugonna of Premium Times. Lol, Chineye the same thing happens here in Lagos. Fake broke guys with no means of livelihood, lmao. 

This week, we are going to put
the spotlight on fake Abuja big boys, FABBs too – they are all FABBs. These
guys are always well-dressed with flashy cars. Some of them are even from rich
homes. You see them looking like a bag of money, meanwhile nothing in their
bank accounts. There is nothing wrong with looking good and not having money to
back it up. There is only something wrong when you are doing it for packaging. Continue below…

1. Always with the fake accent: Apparently, this is not exclusive to the babes.
The male FABBs use all the accents in the world; British, American and Nigerian
accent all muddled up in one. If they are talking to a babe who probably lived
in the UK with a British accent, their accent automatically changes just to
impress. Please, embrace your Nigerian accent, whether it is an Igbo, Yoruba or
Hausa accent, be proud of it. You don’t see an American man trying to talk like
a Nigerian.  

2. He only dates working girls: This is a highly defining character
of the male FABB. They do not date jobless babes. If you don’t have a J -O -B,
then it’s onto the next one. They do not want to be bothered about taking care
of a babe who’s probably still in school or sharing CV about. That is not in
their dictionary of potential girlfriends. 

3. He drives the flashiest of flashy
cars: Warning: Don’t be deceived, the car belongs to their father or uncle. 

4.
He always has a political connection: A typical Abuja boy is always related to
some politician or influential person. The politicians are always their uncle
but hardly ever their father. Sometimes, it could even be a politician they
have met once- he becomes their uncle. 

5. He is a mummy’s boy: Most of the rich
male FABBs live off the wealth of their family who still pay for everything
they own. If you know a guy who lives in a very expensive duplex in Maitama but
does not have a regular job, check that guy! They probably even get monthly
allowance from their parents every month as grown men. Hey, not judging, you do
you. 

6. He immediately introduces you to his family/friends: Imagine you meet
this nice looking guy in Abuja, and before you know it, he has introduced you
to his family and friends. In your mind, you are thinking that you are an iyawo
(wife in the Yoruba language), not knowing you are girlfriend no. 9. 

7. He
spontaneously proposes to you after a short period of dating: They tell you
that you are a wife material or even propose marriage so they can be living off
their new working class babe. You would cook, clean and before you know it, you
have turned to their provider. Their food, shelter, and clothing would be taken
care of by the working class babe. They start with “Please, borrow me N10, 000,
I would pay you back.” Next time, it’s N20, 000 and then it keeps increasing.
Of course, the babe will never get her money back. If you are guilty of this,
it’s not good o! It should be a joint effort. 

8. He only remembers his babe on
Thursdays: This is the time to remember all the hook-ups they have forgotten
from Monday to Wednesday. They need to get a babe to turn up with during the
weekend. If Halima doesn’t respond, Salewa will. After all there are many
fishes in the sea. 

9. He doesn’t have a proper job: This is not referring to the
guys who genuinely work/hustle for their money from Monday to Friday to make
ends meet. Thumbs up! This is for the guys who claim they work during the week
but people still cannot point a finger on what they do. On Friday, they would
be the first to update their status with: “Turn up weekend, TGIF”. 

10. He’s
always the first to pop bottles in the club: They are always the first to order
bottles just to impress. When it’s time to pay, they would remember they have
to go to the bathroom. It’s not by force to pop champagne. After popping and
being forced to pay, they come home to eat noodles. Bear in mind that the money
would have bought you a nice plate of jollof rice and a big fat chicken. 

So,
there you have the Fake Abuja Big Boy, FABB away.