It Is Only Natural For Toke Makinwa’s Husband To Cheat- Etcetera Writes

Aren’t you all tired of asking the same question over and
over as if it is some perplexing unfathomable mystery? Your question is
rhetorical, but since it keeps coming up again and again, let me provide some
explanations to help you understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it
is, with no bull, tact, or political correctness. It’s just that oftentimes;
women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it
through common sense. Sometimes a man would cheat on his wife or girlfriend
because he doesn’t love her anymore; he is bored with her, or even possibly
unhappy with their relationship.

In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful as well.
Women must understand that men are fundamentally different from them and wired
differently too. We all know this but feminists try to suppress or deny this
universal fact. A man craves variety and seeks novelty, while women prefer
familiarity. Men will naturally desire variety when it comes to romantic/sexual
partners more than women will. Men easily get bored by the same thing every day
or a routine and we are sometimes afraid to voice this. Think about this. You
ate your favourite eba and egusi soup, and on the second day that you ate it,
the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of
eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something
else. Your desire for that eba will have diminished at that point.

I know what you are thinking now, “You can’t compare food
with people” right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy.
However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply because it’s one of the
best and simplest ways that it can be explained. I am not trying to objectify
people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start making sense to you
that men are more visually stimulated than women are. And when a man relies on
visual stimulation for arousal, the stimulation wears off at some point, which
then requires new stimulation from new women. Got the drift?

In other words, visual stimulation is a sensual thing that
is fleeting in nature and requires constant variety in order to maintain the
stimulation. Thus, men who seek visual stimulation will require variety from
more than one partner or lover. Women often argue that “true love” never gets
old. But the notion of “true love” is indefinable, very personable, and highly
subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true
love” never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re
talking about here. You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love
for his woman, he can STILL desire another woman he fancies. That’s what our
women have to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society.

A woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a
time, a man’s heart is different and can truly love MORE THAN ONE woman at a
time. This might be hard for you to accept, and unfathomable to your values and
beliefs about “love.” But it is the truth. A man’s heart is molded differently
with multiple chambers that enable him to love and desire multiple women. It’s
like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men usually won’t
admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it.

Ladies, to understand this, think about all the different
colours you love. You love pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple.
Now, can you like more than one colour at a time? Of course you can! You like
the different colours in different ways, on different things, and for the different
ambiance and mood that each colour accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like
more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian foods at
the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one
type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference, would it? After all, society
may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t.

These are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing
that people are like colours or food, but such simple analogies do describe
what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many
lovers. Just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves her,”
desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboy” or “liar.”
He is not necessarily “playing” in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is
using people in some sort of pretend “game” where he doesn’t care about their
feelings. These are just false judgements by the society especially a feminist
or female dominated society like Nigeria is fast becoming.

To some women, it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t fit their
definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve
got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocally
attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do.
What women have to understand is that being in a loving relationship does NOT
automatically erase one’s desire for other people. Of course, men who have
multiple partners often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling
them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one
area in which men commonly lie. However, it doesn’t make them dishonest people
in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner
can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love; men with
multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to lie in order to prevent chaos
and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case
even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone
has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!)

Loving or desiring multiple women has nothing to do with
right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these
men are simply expressing who they are. Thus, infidelity does not make a man
“bad” in a moral sense. Often, these men who romance multiple women are tender,
caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual
or religious. He doesn’t love you? My dear, the line between love and lust is
blurry and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective
measuring stick for differentiating between “love” (which has so many different
meanings anyway) and “lust.”

 In reality, a man can
find the perfect woman, who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a
perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds
attractive and desires to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and
pleasures of her femininity as well. Some men get a “high” or adrenaline rush
from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else
can, and thus are addicted to it.

My ladies, there are no perfect solutions or answers to
everything. Just accept that some things in life are just meant to be endured,
not fixed or solved like an equation.

To be continued next week.