What men enjoy in bed is no secret. We know they’re partial to some vanilla missionary s3x, while cowgirl has been renounced en masse
But, what you might not know, is that, for straight or bisexual men, there’s one type of woman that makes them incredibly s3xually anxious.
It’s got nothing to do with looks or anatomy. It’s the allure of the older woman that has men shaking in their boots.
Nearly half (47%) of men said they feel more sexually anxious with an older partner than with someone their own age. This is particularly true for age gaps of 10 years or more.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the younger the men were, the more likely they were to feel nervy. Those aged 18 to 29 were the most likely to be anxious at 63%, while those aged 30 to 45 were at 51%, compared to Gen X’s 32%.
This anxiety isn’t something they’re keen to broadcast though, with 77% of men never telling anyone about their age-gap performance anxiety.
For Marie Morice, clinical sexologist and founder of The Pleasure Atelier, there are deeply contradictory cultural narratives about an older woman’s sexuality.
‘On the one hand, women are often made to feel sexually invisible as they age, particularly after menopause,’ she tells Metro. ‘On the other, an older woman who actively expresses her sexuality can be portrayed as a “cougar”, sexually voracious, dominant or intimidating.
‘Some women become more confident about expressing their needs as they get older. Others may be rediscovering their sexuality after years of prioritising their partners, children or careers. And some are exploring their own pleasure properly for the first time.’
Popular culture doesn’t do anything to assuage men’s anxieties, especially when the heterosexual script typically sees an older man with a younger, less experienced woman, the sexologist explains.
‘When those roles are reversed, the relationship is often portrayed as unusual, provocative or comical,’ she adds. ‘Even the word “cougar” suggests an older woman pursuing a younger man as her prey, reinforcing the idea that she is sexually dominant and potentially intimidating.
‘Films and television can also perpetuate the idea that an older woman is a sexual expert who will somehow test or educate her younger partner.
‘These portrayals may reinforce the expectation that men need to prove themselves sexually, particularly when they perceive their partner as more experienced.’
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