I Almost Hate My Son Because He Has A Striking Resemblance With His Father- Reader

I was engaged to a man and was almost at the point of
getting married. All arrangements had been finalized and date fixed. All these
had to be fast-tracked because I was already pregnant. Anyway because the love
was so strong between us, so I thought, the pregnancy wasn’t an issue.

On the day of the wedding, he called me up with a strange
number to say he couldn’t go on with the plan because there was another woman
and he had just arrived a neighboring country.

To cut the story short, I was put into ridicule by family
and friends for a failed wedding and pregnancy for a Misfit. I gave birth to my
son who is 4years old today. But in honesty, for the last four years, whenever
I look at him, all I see is hatred, grief, bitterness and hurt…. This is
because he shares a striking resemblance with his father who has caused deep
and unforgettable wounds in my heart, Continue…

I know it is unfair to have such negative feelings towards
one’s son but it’s not something I do on purpose but one who has gone through
such trauma would act same way. My mum has asked to take the boy from me and
raise as hers cos she knows exactly what I see each day with his face almost
like that of his father.

Do I allow someone else raise my son and probably destroy
any foundation for mother-child bonding or just hang on with him being around
believing all will be well, I hate that I feel this way uncontrollably about my
boy because atimes he looks at me and senses the cold attitude towards him.
What can I do to help myself?