We Are The World By African All Stars Is The Worst Combination Of Voices In Human History, Etcetera Writes

Sincerely, I don’t know if there’s
any song that made me change the TV station faster than this one. If I didn’t,
I’d have been doomed to have a group of adults with hideous and unsync voices
chanting, “ we are the children” over and over in my head for the next six
months. And that certainly isn’t all that’s wrong with the song. Michael
Jackson would probably be spitting and cursing in his grave right now, like a
pregnant woman with whitlow on her ten fingers and toes. What the heck were
they thinking changing his beautifully composed piece of art to the most
insipid crap ever written?

I’m going to tell you this for
free; don’t listen to We Are The World by African all stars unless you’re
trying to get a bone out of your throat. That is only when the song would be
useful.

We know that African music isn’t
made up of the best singers anymore, but honestly, how did they think that they
could fill up a seven-minute song with nothing but monotonous chanting of the
same feeble chorus over and over again?

The humorous highlight of the song
is Kcee’s ridiculous line “There’s a choice we making, we saving our own
lives.” Never has the word (saving our own lives) meant so opposite. And the
only choice that could have been made by the organisers was not to have
included Kcee in the song. He was even off key for Christ sake. Kcee, your
hilarious accent is to be commended.

Luckily I could warn the rest of
you who haven’t listened. Kcee is the first reason this is the most repulsive
rendition of this song ever.

There were other worse vocals like
Sean Tizzle’s, but Tiwa Savage sounded like a two- year- old being dragged out
of a toy store. She should know when to keep the vibrato off her voice. And For
a minute I thought Banky W was going to faint. Whoever chose the key to this
song should have been reminded that most Nigerian singers are all about
auto-tune and can’t hold their notes.

Jesus Christ, what is happening to
music? This is easily the worst combination of voices in human history. Only
the most despicable revisionist historian could possibly claim that this song
is anything close to good. It’s nothing more than a hideous irritation festival
from the individual who sold the idea to the sponsors. While writing this
article, someone suggested that maybe vocals wasn’t the criterion for selecting
the artistes. REALLY? Are you kidding me? Then they should have gone for the
kill. Artquake should have been in there somewhere, Or perhaps even Daddy
Showkey. A number of you are probably thinking “hey, come on, I kinda like that
song.” Of course, every lover of today’s Nigerian music will surely like the
song. This is the musical equivalent of Agege bread: it’s meant to be packed
with so much artificial crap that it’s bound to appeal in some way to
Nigerians.

No matter how musically credible
you are, no matter how much cutting-edge indigenous songs you listen to, whether
you snore in baritone in your sleep or not, this song is a shame. It is the
kind of rendition that makes today’s Nigerian music uncool. If you have
listened to it, the fact that the singers were trying too hard to sound like
the original version should have made you turn off your TV in disgust. If you
haven’t, download it right now. I dare you to try to make it through the first
10 seconds. It is the ultimate endurance test.

If you’d care to suggest another
song for me to review, you can always feel free to do so by e-mailing me at
[email protected]. If you’re the guy who e-mailed me about being a Wizkid
fan, for the love of God, get some help.