Just In: The Phones No Longer Ring By Reuben Abati

Just got this from the former spokesman of ex-president
Goodluck Jonathan.

As spokesman to President Goodluck Jonathan, my phones rang
endlessly and became more than personal navigators within the social space.
They defined my entire life; dusk to dawn, all year-round. The phones buzzed
non-stop, my email was permanently active; my twitter account received tons of
messages per second.  The worst moments
were those days when there was a Boko Haram attack virtually every Sunday.

    

The intrusion into my private life was total as my wife
complained about her sleep being disrupted by phones that never seemed to stop
ringing. Besides, whenever I was not checking or responding to the phones, I
was busy online trying to find out if the APC had said something contrarian or
some other fellow was up to any mischief. A media manager in the 21st century
is a slave of the Breaking News, a slave particularly of the 24-hour news
cycle, and a potential nervous breakdown case. Debo Adesina, my colleague at
The Guardian once said I was running a “one week, one trouble schedule”. There
were actually moments when trouble knocked on the door every hour, and duty required
my team and I to respond to as many issues that came up. Continue…

  

Top of the task list was the management of phone calls
related to the principal. In my first week on the job, for example, one of my
phones ran out of battery and I had taken the liberty to charge it. While it
was still in the off mode, the “Control Room”: the all-powerful communications
centre at the State House tried to reach me. They had only just that phone
number, so I couldn’t be reached. When eventually they did, the fellow at the other
end was livid.

“SA Media, where are you? We have been trying to reach you.
Mr President wants to speak with you”

“Sorry, I was charging my phone.  The phone was off.”

“Sir, you can’t switch off your phone now.  Mr President must be able to reach you at any
time. You must always be available.”  I
was like: “really? Which kin job be dis?”

    

The Control Room eventually collected all my phone numbers.
If I did not pick up a call on time, they called my wife. Sometimes the calls
came directly from the Residence, as we referred to the President’s official
quarters.

“Abati, Oga dey call you!”

    

If I still could not be reached, every phone that was ever
connected to me would ring non-stop. Busy bodies who had just picked up the
information that Abati was needed also often took it upon themselves to track
me down. My wife soon got used to her being asked to produce me, or a car
showing up to take me straight to the Residence. I eventually got used to it
too, and learnt to remain on duty round-the-clock.  In due course, President Jonathan himself
would call directly. My wife used to joke that each time there was a call from
him, even if I was sleeping, I would spring to my feet and without listening to
what he had to say, I would start with a barrage of “Yes sirs”! Other calls
that could not be joked with were calls from my own office. Something could
come up that would require coverage, or there could be a breaking story, or it
could be something as harmless as office gossip, except that in the corridors
of power, nothing is ever harmless. Looking back now, I still can’t figure out
how I survived that onslaught of the terror of the telephone.

    

Of equal significance were the calls from journalists who
wanted clarifications on issues of the moment, or the President’s opinion. I
don’t need to remind anyone who lived in Nigeria during the period, that we had
a particularly interesting time. The Jonathan government had to deal from the
very first day with a desperate and hyper-negative opposition, which gained
help from a crowd of naysayers who bought into their narrative. I was required
to respond to issues. Bad news sells newspapers and attracts listeners/viewers.
Everything had to be managed.  You knew
something had happened as the phones rang, and the text messages, emails,
twitter comments poured in. The media could not be ignored. Interfacing with
every kind of journalist was my main task. 
I learnt many lessons,  a subject
for another day.  And the busy bodies
didn’t make things easy.

If in 1980, the media manager had to deal with print and
broadcast journalists, today, the big task is the dilemma of the
over-democratization of media practice in the age of information. The question
used to be asked in Nigerian media circles: who is a journalist? Attempts were
subsequently made to produce a register of professionals but that is now
clearly an illusion. The media of the 21st Century is the strongest evidence we
have for the triumph of democracy. Everybody is a journalist now, once you can
purchase a phone or a laptop, or an ipad and you can take pictures, set up a
blog, or go on instagram, linked-in, viber etc.

    

All kinds of persons have earned great reputation as editors
and opinion influencers on social media where you don’t have to make sense to
attract followers. The new stars and celebrities are not necessarily the most
educated or knowledgeable, but those who, with 140 words or less, or with a
picture or a borrowed quote, can produce fast-food type public intellectualism,
or can excite with a little display of the exotic -Kadarshian, Nicki Minaj
style.  But I was obligated to attend to
all calls. The ones who didn’t receive an answer complained about Abati not
picking their calls.

    

My defence was that most editors in Nigeria have
correspondents in the State House. Every correspondent had access to me. There
was no way I could be accused of not picking calls, and in any case, there were
other channels: instagram, twitter direct message, email, and media assistants
who could interface with me. But this was the main challenge: while in public
office, people treat you as if you are at their mercy, they threaten to
sabotage you and get you sacked, every phone call was a request with a price
attached, you get clobbered; you are treated like you had committed a crime to
serve your nation. Relatives and privileged kinsmen struggled with you to do
the job – media management is that one assignment in which everyone is an
expert even if their only claim to relevance is that they once had an uncle who
was a newspaper vendor!

     

The thinking that anyone who opts to serve is there to make
money in that famous arena for primitive accumulation partly accounts for this.
And that takes me to those phone calls from persons who solicited for financial
help as if there was a tree at the Villa that produced money. Such people would
never believe that government officials don’t necessarily have access to money.
They wanted to be assisted: to pay school fees, to settle medical bills, to
build a house, purchase a car, complete an uncompleted building, or link them
up with the President. Everybody wanted a part of the national cake and they
thought a phone call was all they needed. 
If you offered any explanation, they reminded you that you’d be better
off on the lecture circuit. Businessmen also hovered around the system like
bees around nectar.  

      

But what to do? “Volenti non fit injuria,” the principle
says.  There were also calls from the
unkind lot. “I have called you repeatedly, you did not pick my calls. I hope
you know that you will leave government one day!”.  Or those who told you point blank that they
were calling because you were in the position as their representative and that
you owed them a living.  Or that other
crowd who said, “it is our brother that has given you that opportunity, you must
give us our share!”

      

The Presidential election went as it did, and everything
changed. Days after,  State House became
Ghost House. The Residence, which used to receive visitors as early as 6 am,
(regular early morning devotion attendees) became quiet. The throng of visitors
stopped. The number of phone calls began to drop. By May 29, my phones had
stopped ringing as they used to. They more or less became museum pieces; their
silence reminding me of the four years of my life that proved so momentous. On
one occasion, after a whole day of silence, I had to check if the phones were
damaged! As it were, a cynical public relates to you not as a person, but as
the office you occupy; the moment you leave office, the people move on; erasing
every memory, they throw you into yesterday’s dustbin.  Opportunism is the driver of the public’s
relationship with public officials.

     

Today, the phones remain loudly silent, with the exception
of calls from those friends who are not gloating, who have been offering words
of commendation and support. They include childhood friends, former colleagues,
elderly associates, fans, and family members. And those who want interviews
with President Jonathan, both local and international – they want his reaction
on every development, so many of them from every part of the planet. But he is
resting and he has asked me to say he is not ready yet to say anything. It is
truly, a different moment, and indeed, “no condition is permanent.”

    

The ones who won’t give up with the stream of phone calls
and text messages are those who keep pestering me with requests for financial
assistance. I am made to understand that there is something called “special
handshake” and that everyone who goes into government is supposed to exit with
carton loads of cash. I am in no position to assist such people, because no
explanation will make sense to them. Here I am, at the crossroads; I am glad to
be here.