Bianca Ojukwu, the widow of late former Biafran leader, Dim
Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, and Nigeria Ambassador to Spain has said no man
has asked for her hand in marriage ever since she lost her husband. Plus most
importantly she has no compelling need to re-marry. Here’s what she told
Vanguard in an interview.
Given that you are still very young, beautiful and as the
famed American poet-Robert Frost said, you still have a long road to travel. Do
you plan to remarry?
famed American poet-Robert Frost said, you still have a long road to travel. Do
you plan to remarry?
People marry I think not just because they need to come
together, live together, raise family together, it is a rite of passage and I
think I have fulfilled my part. Why I said that, is, I have gone through
marriage, lived with what I consider a wonderful man who gave me 23 years of
happiness, of fulfillment, I literally
felt I was the luckiest woman to have had a man who gave me utter dedication
and, above all, wonderful children. So my pledge to him is that I will devote
my life to taking care of our children, raising them properly, teaching them
those ideals that he cherished and held very dear and trying to carry on his
legacy. So I don’t have any compelling need to remarry and, in any case, my
time is very limited; so I am trying to channel it properly towards raising my
children.
together, live together, raise family together, it is a rite of passage and I
think I have fulfilled my part. Why I said that, is, I have gone through
marriage, lived with what I consider a wonderful man who gave me 23 years of
happiness, of fulfillment, I literally
felt I was the luckiest woman to have had a man who gave me utter dedication
and, above all, wonderful children. So my pledge to him is that I will devote
my life to taking care of our children, raising them properly, teaching them
those ideals that he cherished and held very dear and trying to carry on his
legacy. So I don’t have any compelling need to remarry and, in any case, my
time is very limited; so I am trying to channel it properly towards raising my
children.
How do you contain advances from men, who may nurse some
romantic thoughts about you?
romantic thoughts about you?
Nigerian men are not aggressive; they may be aggressive in
business, in their career pursuits, but in that particular area of aggressively
pursuing a romantic interest, I have been very impressed by the level of
decency and decorum they project. I mean, it might be just my own experience.
They have treated me with a lot of respect, deference-they have been protective
in a way as if to say this is a treasure that we must protect. I get on
flights, and I see people stand up, take my luggage to my car, they have been
amazing. I haven’t encountered that sort of pursuit and I have been very
touched and humbled by the way they have treated me.
business, in their career pursuits, but in that particular area of aggressively
pursuing a romantic interest, I have been very impressed by the level of
decency and decorum they project. I mean, it might be just my own experience.
They have treated me with a lot of respect, deference-they have been protective
in a way as if to say this is a treasure that we must protect. I get on
flights, and I see people stand up, take my luggage to my car, they have been
amazing. I haven’t encountered that sort of pursuit and I have been very
touched and humbled by the way they have treated me.
My husband’s friends call me regularly to see how I am
doing- I mean a lot of widows complain that that they have issues with people
proposing to them. But in my own case, I must say that I have been lucky to
have wonderful support system based on respect and a sense of protection. If
that is a function of the respect they had for my husband, I don’t know.
doing- I mean a lot of widows complain that that they have issues with people
proposing to them. But in my own case, I must say that I have been lucky to
have wonderful support system based on respect and a sense of protection. If
that is a function of the respect they had for my husband, I don’t know.
When I travel abroad, I also meet Nigerian men who are
respectful. I also believe that it also depends on the woman’s
attitude-sometimes we lay blame at the doorstep of the men— but the fact is
that if you are engaged in your work, if you are a woman who have a sense of
purpose, regardless of the fact that you operate in a terrain that is dominated
by men, once you can hold your own, it will be difficult to fall into that
quagmire where you feel you are being propositioned or your gender is playing a
derogatory role.
respectful. I also believe that it also depends on the woman’s
attitude-sometimes we lay blame at the doorstep of the men— but the fact is
that if you are engaged in your work, if you are a woman who have a sense of
purpose, regardless of the fact that you operate in a terrain that is dominated
by men, once you can hold your own, it will be difficult to fall into that
quagmire where you feel you are being propositioned or your gender is playing a
derogatory role.
Once you are not making excuses for bad performance, or once
you are not looking for a man to cover for you, for your inadequacies, once you
are able to let you work speak for you, it’s a lot easier to survive and live a
life of dignity, and once you don’t present yourself as a weak and defenseless
woman- one to be pitied and really cuddled by a man just by a virtue of being
of a weaker s*x – then it’s much easier to live a life that is not being
truncated by those pressures.
you are not looking for a man to cover for you, for your inadequacies, once you
are able to let you work speak for you, it’s a lot easier to survive and live a
life of dignity, and once you don’t present yourself as a weak and defenseless
woman- one to be pitied and really cuddled by a man just by a virtue of being
of a weaker s*x – then it’s much easier to live a life that is not being
truncated by those pressures.
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